My Bike...& I Wish

A Catholic Priest was about to leave His Mission in the jungles where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English,

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree ." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The Priest pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and he points to a rock and says, " This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The Priest really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, " Riding
a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills both of them!

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replies, "My bike. "

I wish...

A kid sees his mate on the first day back at school after Christmas.
"Did you have a good Christmas?" he said.

"Yea, you know that air rifle I wanted? I got it. How about you?"

"Well, I woke up, and there was a long box on the end of my bed. It was
an air rifle just like yours except it's a .22 with telescopic sights. And as I got out
of bed, I stood on a massive parcel containing a Hornby train set of the entire British railway system,
points, platforms, shunters, the lot. And then I was just about to open it, when I saw a Rolex watch on my bedside
table, so I put it on, got my air rifle, and opened my door. In the corridor was a brand new Olympic, carbon fibre
racing bike, weighs less than I've got my watch, my rifle and my bike, and I opened the front door
to find a miniature Aston Martin DB9 cabriolet in the driveway, absolutely fantastic, 4 forward gears, 1 reverse, goes 47 MPH...

I had the best Christmas I've ever had." He ended, breathlessly.

Looking rather downcast, the other kid said "Wish I had leukemia."

at Tuesday, November 25, 2008  


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