Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts

Biggy Wheel Slide



...Hilarious..replayed it twice
cant get it more fun than this....the coolest ever descent....

at Sunday, June 14, 2009 1 comments  

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Totally unaware thus no cold drink..

at Thursday, March 19, 2009 0 comments  

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The Top 10 Ways to tell a difference between Power Bar from a Dog Turd

I look at powerbar when i rip it off it , reminds me of my dog's turd. let's compare.

Power Bars cost 8 rm . Dog turds are free.
Power Bars have shiny wrappers. Dog turds don't.
A fly will eat a dog turd. I've never seen a fly eat a Power Bar.
Dog turds get slippery when wet.
Power Bars come in 5 delicious flavors. Dog turds only come in 1.
Power Bars hold their shape in a jersey pocket much better than dog turds.
You won't find a Power Bar sitting on the ground in the park.
Dog turds are made of naturally occurring substances.
Dog turds are biodegradeable.
You don't get a dog turd in the December issue of ROAD.net

at Friday, December 05, 2008 0 comments  

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Everybody's Free..To

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everybody's_Free_(To_Wear_Sunscreen)

Ride Streamlined.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, streamlining would be it. The aerodynamic benefits of streamlining have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your glutes. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your glutes until they've faded. But trust me, after a 200 km ride, you'll think back to the first hill you sprinted up and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much pain lay before
you and how fabulous you really felt.

You are not as fast as you imagine.

Don't worry about a puncture. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to convince a mtber that a roadies can be faster and more comfortable. The real troubles in your ride are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, like running over a bunch of nails at
4p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Blow past one roadie every day who dares you.

Spin.

Don't be reckless with other people's ride. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Lube.

Don't wash your tires with gasoline.

Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with the same fellow who kicked your butt last time.

Remember "cool bike" comments you receive. Forget the laughter. If you succeed in doing this, you should get your ears checked.

Keep riding that hill. Throw away your old bike shop bills.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what kind of bike you want to build. The most interesting people I know didn't know 20 minutes before they started paying what they wanted to build. Some of the most interesting buyers still don't know.

Get plenty of grain and nut bars.

Be kind to your LBS that doesn't stock much food. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll race, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll win, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll do the 200km at 40, maybe you'll win the Carnival at 45 kmh.Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. You'll get beaten by Lance anyway. So will everyone else.

Enjoy your bike. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Train, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, but don't follow them.

Do not read normal bicycling magazines. They will only make you feel superior.

Get some new brake pads. You never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your chainrings. They're your best link to your power and the part most likely to stick in the door of the next car to cut you off.

Understand that riders come and go, but with a precious few you should draft. Work hard to bridge the gap between you and the pack of roadies up ahead, because the older you get, the more you need people you can wheelsuck.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Shimano will be rumored to have a 11 speed. You, too, will get a 11 speed. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, parts were compatible, potholes were smaller and Campagnolo ruled the planet.

Disinfect your Camelback Bladders.

Don't expect any narrow tires to support you. Maybe you have a tubular. Maybe you'll have a thorn tube. But you never know when either one might run out of air.

Don't mess too much with your seat or by the time you've ridden 40 it will feel like 85.

Be careful whose bikes you buy, but be a pain to those that ship late.

Grabbing an old bike from the dumpster is a form of nostalgia. Dissecting it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, welding it up, painting over the ugly parts and riding it for it's worth.

But trust me on the streamlining.

at Thursday, November 27, 2008 0 comments  

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My Bike...& I Wish

A Catholic Priest was about to leave His Mission in the jungles where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English,


So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree ." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The Priest pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and he points to a rock and says, " This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The Priest really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, " Riding
a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills both of them!

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replies, "My bike. "


I wish...



A kid sees his mate on the first day back at school after Christmas.
"Did you have a good Christmas?" he said.

"Yea, you know that air rifle I wanted? I got it. How about you?"

"Well, I woke up, and there was a long box on the end of my bed. It was
an air rifle just like yours except it's a .22 with telescopic sights. And as I got out
of bed, I stood on a massive parcel containing a Hornby train set of the entire British railway system,
points, platforms, shunters, the lot. And then I was just about to open it, when I saw a Rolex watch on my bedside
table, so I put it on, got my air rifle, and opened my door. In the corridor was a brand new Olympic, carbon fibre
racing bike, weighs less than 16lbs....so I've got my watch, my rifle and my bike, and I opened the front door
to find a miniature Aston Martin DB9 cabriolet in the driveway, absolutely fantastic, 4 forward gears, 1 reverse, goes 47 MPH...

I had the best Christmas I've ever had." He ended, breathlessly.

Looking rather downcast, the other kid said "Wish I had leukemia."

at Tuesday, November 25, 2008 0 comments  

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Powerman Finisher T-shirt



Now you can be a Powerman Finisher too! without the pain of full distance participation .. Now available @ the Factory Outlet ( a surplus clothing store) for only 19.90.Only While stock lasts.

at Monday, November 17, 2008 2 comments  

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powerman 2008 , lumut

Inflame i am still. Had a good duathlon , this year was prepared for it. Run time was respectable. Bike time i know i had a good time but (referee claims i was drafting )second run leg was pretty steady too,all in 3.55, Nothing much to rave about.Knew i was a marked target and i know the decision was biased. Some half arsed referee isn't cut out to be a commissaire , even in football there is 3 warning but i WILL not talk about it.(Out of respect) Never the less , i like to say thanks for the Quick-Release team to org it nicely together with sweet desserts after the race. There was this nice lady whom cheered me up during the run was Cassandra lim 392, a very good runner whom got 1st place in her cat. cheers!

On the field alot out there wasnt happy campers. Punctured and deflated was the word.Humidity and heat combination made it harder, being HOT here aint sexy. But most most runners did fairly well. Looks like it is still in the training mode back again for me.i know what i've got to do. lets just say i know when to put the hack down in future...for powerman lumut 09

HJ + PowerGels + Gu did what it was supposed to do...did not failed me one bit.

i am spacing out. 4 days of racing and being a tour guide is zoning me out..

nites hugz...

at Saturday, November 08, 2008 4 comments  

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i just need a ride... on this morning light.



at Thursday, November 06, 2008 1 comments  

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Having the runs while cycling



The choice of MTBer and occasionally roadies whom need to answer the call of nature resorts to such place in the tropics. In such environment everything has its place in nature( even fresh human excretions.) ;) probably fertilising the tropical fruit Banana your eating rite now.



This leaf's natural texture and size is ideally perfect for ass wipes. Might be a lil gritty but beggars cant be choosers.


So my tip is to roll some emergency toilet paper into you handlerbar just in case if you ever need em.( while your riding out there, somewhere )

at Monday, September 29, 2008 1 comments  

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How many "mango's" ya can fit it in..

at Thursday, July 31, 2008 0 comments  

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Flamin Rover.


at Tuesday, July 29, 2008 0 comments  

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Gas and Cycling toons!
















at Sunday, June 15, 2008 0 comments  

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BASTARD CYCLING


at Thursday, May 01, 2008 1 comments  

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Women's cycling shorts




Came cross this and thought it be hilarious to post this up on the perception to women when it comes to cycling shorts . I guess it is in a way the reality of what goes thru in womens mind when they put on lyrca!!! LOL

at Saturday, April 26, 2008 0 comments  

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CARTOON!!






at Friday, April 18, 2008 0 comments  

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jingle bell....jingle hell...

Dashing through the road
On a broken pair of spoke
Screaming as I go
Ramming into poles (boom boom boom)
The snow's now soaking red
and I think I'm almost dead
Someone call red cross
'cause I need a hospital bed


hey jingle bell.. jingle hell...

at Wednesday, December 05, 2007 0 comments  

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Triathlon/Endurance Sport T-shirt etiquette

  • In the Triathlon community the wearing of race T-shirts has become a sign of accomplishment and fashion. Choosing just the right T-shirt for that special occasion can be a daunting and difficult task. The following guidelines have been compiled to help the responsible T-shirt wearer avoid potential embarrassment and/or elevate their status.

  • A shirt cannot be worn unless the wearer has participated in the event. (Crew, volunteers are exempt, see Guide #10.)

  • Wearing a T-shirt within 30-days of the event demonstrates lack of experience; it says: I don't have any other T-shirts, ergo I'm a novice! (see guidelines #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9).

  • Any race T-shirt, less than a Olympic (standard) distance, shouldn't be worn to an half or full Ironman (long distance) event. It simply doesn't represent a high cool factor and sends a red flag regarding your 'rookiness'.

  • If you raced in the Longest Day or any other race longer than Olympic distance, definitely wear that shirt whenever possible.

  • When returning to a race in which you previously finished, then wear the shirt from the first year you completed the race. Don't short change yourself by wearing the shirt from the year before. It doesn't adequately display the feat of accomplishment or the consummate veteran status that you are due.

  • Never wear a race shirt from the race you are about to compete in. It displays a lack of integrity and tempts fate. (See Guide #7, #8).

  • Wearing a T-shirt of the race, while currently running said race, is discouraged. It's like being at work and constantly announcing "I'm at work". (See Guide #7).

  • Never wear a shirt from a race that you did not finish. To wear it is to say I finished it.

  • A DNF'er may wear a race shirt if... the letters DNF are boldly written on the shirt in question. It is also acceptable to have a large-X across the name of the race on the T-shirt. While an X on your race number is associated with a drafting penalty in a non-drafting, typically Ironman races, it will stimulate discussion and you get a chance to explain why you DNF'd.

  • During a race the wearing of shirt from a previously completed year is acceptable. Wear the oldest T-shirt you have. This is probably a good practice because you now have no excuse to drop out since you've done it before.

  • Volunteers have full T-shirt rights and all privileges pertaining thereto.

  • No souvenir shirts! Friends or anyone else not associated with the race may not wear a race shirt. If your 'partner' thinks that the Windsor sweatshirt is great, tell them to send in their application early for next year so they can earn their own. This also means you should not buy old London Marathon T-shirts in the Bourne Sports sale.

  • Not withstanding Guideline #2, wear the race shirt of your last race at the current race pre-race briefing. The more recent the race the better. This is a good conversation starter. However, avoid the tendency to explain how the race was training for this, and this is just a training for the next race, etc. It just sounds like you're rationalizing mediocre performances. Sometimes it's best to live in the here and now. ("I've never been more prepared for a race! This is the big one!")

  • It must be clean (dried blood stains are okay).

  • If you've finished the Longest Day, or any full Ironman distance event, then wear the T-shirt as often as possible, since these races are so damn hard.
    If you don't know what things like DNF, T1, T2, Brick sessions are, then you shouldn't wear any race shirt until you do.

  • T-shirts must be used sensitively. Worn responsibly, they can help expand one's consciousness and immerse you in a great conversation with your Triathlon brethren. They are great for stimulating conversation with the opposite sex at the gym (aka chat-up lines). Worn stupidly, they can cause blisters, vacant stares, sprained ankles, and cause social anxiety.

at Wednesday, November 28, 2007 2 comments  

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Bicycle Players parody....coool..


Mommie dearest.


American Beauty

at Wednesday, November 21, 2007 0 comments  

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POWERBAR ....hilarious..!





i dont really endorse any gel or bar but i think this ad is pretty funny
when he started cycling with his hands

at Tuesday, November 06, 2007 0 comments  

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Not a good way to have a finish a race on MTB

http://www.davesdaily.com/videoclips/492-mt-bike-finish.htm

but if your starting to be really edgy you can do this, it does 3 things.

1) relief your muscle from the lactic acid.
2) stretching for the cramps.
3) and for the biker behind you , letting em know your not in a good mood..

at Wednesday, October 31, 2007 0 comments  

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